eleven days from today

I am going to be in Thailand in a very short amount of time. Up until this point and probably continuing from now, I really haven't done any major preparation. I have been thinking a lot about expecting the unexpected. Those things are still just expectations though. I am going to be in Cha-am, Thailand eleven days from now. I tell myself this everyday, but it hasn't quite sunk in. More than the superficial adventure that so many tourists seek out when traveling to Thailand, the hot vacation spot that it is, I also hope to gain some insight in how globalization has affected a country which is so strongly rooted in a history of culture. I hope that I am able to emote this through images without exploiting those who are exploited so much by the world's business, and our insatiable appetite for menial things.

Last night I watched Janice Dickinsons' Modeling Agency, What Not To Wear, and How Do I Look? And I know what you're thinking: those are all excellent TV shows, what's the problem here? Well after doing that I read "Beloved" by Toni Morrison. Sethe's "owner" dug a hole in the ground so as not to hurt their future laborer as they lied her down on her stomach and went at her back with a reed, planting that tree of scars. This was before she killed her own infant so as not to perpetuate a future that she knows so well. I can't be expected to not participate in my own society, but I need to be aware of where it comes from and that there are people all around the world today who are victims of these and worse atrocities. Everyday, I hope that I better myself a little bit more by becoming a little bit more socially conscious. And while I tell you that I don't have expectations for Thailand, clearly I do.